


Electrical Storm

by KuyoTheHunter, TheTransgenderDolphin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Atonic Seizures, Epilepsy, Humanstuck, I guess blood? Very very minor tho, Idk it just makes sense to me, JUST, M/M, Minor Injuries, Seizures, Serious Injuries, Sollux and Mituna have epilepsy, Suggested Sex, Temporary Character Death, Tonic Clonic (Grand Mal) Siezures, Tonic seizures, a bit of panic, absence seizures, calm down, complex partial seizures, i didnt write it for real tho, kanayas a mother hen jeez, so many of them, the psionics look like sparks and epilepsy is electrical activity sooooo thats my logic, the reason why mituna wears that helmet, we're good
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-06-08 06:52:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 18,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6843754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuyoTheHunter/pseuds/KuyoTheHunter, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTransgenderDolphin/pseuds/TheTransgenderDolphin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone knows life is hard. Illness just makes it that much harder.</p><p>Ask the Captor family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Tonic Clonic

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story on this site, so I hope you enjoy! :D

A four year old Sollux sits on the carpeted floor of the living room, playing cars with his 9 year old brother, Mituna. Of course, they couldn't play certain kinds of games, because of Mituna's seizures. Mituna had just started wearing a helmet about three weeks ago, to prevent further injury. The thought of a helmet only came about when he had a big seizure a month and a half ago, and hit his head hard enough to knock him out, and give him a bad concussion.

However, Sollux didn't mind. Mituna was still his brother after all. If anything, since the epilepsy delayed Mituna's growth and development, Mituna was always willing to play like he was still Sollux's age, which was fine by him. No one else would play with him, after all.

Mituna has had his condition since he was a baby, and it wasn't exactly well managed. Everywhere they went, they had to bring a small, black backback. Their father said that it was for if 'Tuna had an emergency, so Sollux happily offered to wear the bag himself. He wanted to help his sibling in any way he could.

Of course, since both his father and Mituna had epilepsy, the doctor said that there was a big chance that Sollux would develop it as well. However, they had both been diagnosed when they were very young, and since Sollux still hadn't been diagnosed at the age lf four, five in two weeks, they thought the chances were looking pretty low.

Until today.

Lately, Sollux had been staring off lately, just like Mituna did sometimes, and their father took notice. Though he didn't want to acknowledge the fact that his youngest son was probably now being plagued by the disorder, he called in an appointment.

But that said appointment wasn't due for another three weeks, so for now they had to just wait.

All of a sudden, the young Sollux stops, and starts to stare off a bit. Mituna glances up at his brother after a couple of seconds without a response, and doesn't really know what to do.

Sollux's body suddenly falls back, stiffening everywhere. His eyes roll up, and drool drips out of his mouth. His throat starts to produce these awful moaning and groaning sounds.

Mituna's eyes widen, and he immediately screams for his father. "D-daddy! S-sssollux is-is acting weird daddy! Help, he needs h-help! Daddy!"

There are footsteps running down the hallway right away, and soon their father was standing there, staring in shock at his sons.

Of course, he quickly takes action. He grabs the small backpack from beside the front door, and jogs over.

He kneels beside Sollux, and empties the bag. He starts the timer, puts a cushion under his head, and does everything else he needs to do.

However, after a terrifying realization that Sollux was barely breathing, he does something he rarely ever does, and pulls out the small oxygen tank and breathing mask from the bag. Mituna can normally breathe right during his seizures, but hes always carried it just in case. Now he's glad he did.

He carefully places the mask on his face, and then sits back, waiting it out.

Sollux's body started to convulse after about a minute of being stiffened.

Now his father had to acknowledge the fact that this was indeed a tonic clonic seizure, and those staring spells were probably absence seizures.

After a minute and a half of convulsing, his body goes to rest. His eyes roll back down, though they are still not focusing on anything, and his body relaxes.

His father gently rolls his sons body onto its side, and saw saliva and a bit of blood come out if his mouth. He must've bit his tongue, he thinks to himself.

He looks over to see that Mituna was standing to the side, staring at his brother.

It took a while to convince Mituna that his brother was okay, as well as a ten minute hand holding session, but it was fine.

He carries the small boy upstairs to his bed, and sets him down for a nap.

When he closes the door, he leans onto it, and puffs out a long breath.

Oh god.


	2. First Day Of School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now its going to start being them both growing up, and meeting everyone else

It was Sollux's first day of school, and his father was extremely nervous.

They had just dropped Mituna off at the special ED wing, and now they stand in front of Sollux's kindergarten room.

Sollux was excited. After his diagnosis, he was barely allowed to go anywhere, but now, he got to be out of the house for more than half the day for five days a week! To him, this was a dream come true.

Of course, due to his excitement, Sollux had been having absence seizures all morning, despite the fact he had taken his meds. However, they seemed to be under control.

When they walked in, it was already full of children and parents. The teacher, a nice looking woman walks over to greet them. She kneels in front of Sollux.

"Hi! My name is Ms.Paint, what's yours?"

He beams at her. "Sollux." His lisp strongly taints his speech, but she thought it was adorable.

Her smile widens. "Why hello Sollux! Your name is on one of these desks, and that one will be yours. How about you go look for it?" He immediately nods in joy and bounds off.

Ms.Paint then turns to his father.

"Hi, you must be his father?"

"Yes, call me Simon, please. Um, if you can just keep a close eye on him, and if he has an absence seizure, it should be fine, and-"

"Simon, I am certified in first aid, and that includes seizures. You said he has daily absences and occasionally tonic clonics?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Ok. Can I please have his seizure bag?"

"Oh, yes, of course."

He removes the bag frim his shoulder and places it in her hand.

"Thank you, Simon. I promise I will keep a close eye on him, and call you if anything happens. Should he ever go into status epilepticus, would you mind me calling 911?"

Simon winced. He himself had gone into status once before, many years ago, and Mituna had gone into status many many times. From what he can remember from his experience, it was an awful thing to go through, and required immediate attention.

"Yes, I'd actually prefer that he get immediate attention. You should also know that he can't really breathe well on his own during his tonic clonics, so you always have to put the breathing mask on him."

"Okay, Simon."

"And absolutely no flashing lights of any kind, and no excersize. Also, he needs his meds at 11 AM every day, no exceptions. If he ever hits his head, then-"

"Simon, Mr.Captor, I assure you that I have everything under control. The lesson is about to start, so if you could please leave? Thank you. Remember, pick him up at 1:30 PM." She gives him a soft smile before closing the door after he nods at her, confirming his understanding.

She turns towards her class, and lets out a breath. Jeez....

Meanwhile, Sollux was on an exciting journey for his desk.

He soon finds it at a table of four near the teachers table, with another boy and two girls.

He quickly sits down, across from the boy, and the three other children stop their conversation to look at him.

The girl sitting beside him smiles brightly at him. "Hi! My name is Aradia, whats yours?"

He looked in surprise at her, before returning the smile and answering. "Hi, my name is Sollux."

She isn't at all fazed by the lisp, and opens her mouth to say more, but the boy cuts her off.

"Wow, some lisp you've got there."

He turns to look at him. 

The boy seemed to have an eternal frown on his face, and just seemed overall grumpy. Sollux frowns, and feels himself shrink into his seat.

The girl beside the boy hits the boy lightly on the arm. "Karkat, be nice!" She then turns to me. "I'm sorry, don't mind him, he's always like that. My name is Nepeta, nice to meet you!" She too smiles brightly at me.

He smiles back at her. They all weren't so bad, except he wasnt sure what Karkat's deal was.

They all quickly went back to having a conversation, and it was realized quickly that they just clicked. They got along very well, almost too well, and everything was great.

Until it wasn't.

Sollux's world went dark, and whenever he came back out of it, to his relief he was still sitting up and not on the floor. Ms.Paint was there, standing next to him, her hand on his shoulder.

To his surprise, however, the others at his table weren't at all fazed by what the fact that he had just had an absence seizure. They actually weren't bothered in the slightest.

After making sure he was ok, it was explained to him that they had already been talked to about his condition, and knew what to do when anything happens and all of that.

That made Sollux very relieved, because he had actually been worried about how he would explain it to other kids.

But they were all still smiling at him, and everything just went on like nothing happened. There wasn't any huge fuss over him, and he was extremely happy about that.

He could get used to this whole school thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! And poor Sollux, he has no idea that school sucks ass


	3. Mituna's A Sweetheart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thiis chapter is finally one about Mituna!

There was a drag in Mituna Captor's step, as always. His eyes wandered all over the hallway he had traveled up and down a million times already.

The weight of the helmet on his head was familiar, as well as the unsteadiness of his own body.

His hand was clasped around his little brother's, Sollux. He was the BEST brother anyone could ever have! At least, in Mituna's opinion.....

They turn left into the double wood doors, which led to a u-shaped hallway, with classrooms, padded rooms, a kitchen, an infirmary, a playroom, a music room, a quiet room, even a small cinema room! Just all kind of rooms, all accustomed to each of the different child's needs.

They pass the first couple of classrooms, before taking another left , to the one Mituna had been going into for years.

Mituna grinned as he looked around. Nothing had changed.

But really made him grin was the sight of his teacher.

"Mr.Carter!" He ran to him, and swallowed his teacher in a hug , which was returned. Of course when they pulled away, he was scolded for running, but it was okay.

His father and Sollux soon left, and Mituna went to sit in his seat.

He looked around at his friends, and smiled and waved. Sure they were different, but so was he. He had never minded them.

All of a sudden, the world went dark, and his expression went blank. His head drooped, along with the weight of the helmet. Mr.Carter was soon by his side, his hand on the silently seizing boys shoulder. Of course, he came out of it after about ten more seconds, and looked up to give a big smile to everyone, assuring that he was fine.

He was never really considered abnormal here. He guesses that that's why he loves school so much. Sure, every day at least one kid had to go to one of the padded rooms, otherwise known as the safe rooms, during a tantrum. Sure, one lesson took almost a week because the kids had trouble or something happened, like a tantrum or a seizure. Sure, all of the kids had their needs and disabilities, but it was perfect to Mituna.

Absolutely perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!


	4. First Status

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux's first time going into status, and it sadly happening at school

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty angsty chapter for something full of kindergartners..... Sorry

From the moment he woke up, Sollix felt off. He was spacey, and having absences left and right. He would stare off, or his body would jerk, or his head would drop.

His father was greatly concerned, and wanted to keep him home, but Sollux blearily convinced him to let him go, and said that he's fine and he would stay that way.

When Sollux gets to his class, he goes straight to his desk, while his father stays to discuss the situation to Ms.Paint.

He barely even looked at his three best friends. Over the past couple of months since school had started, the four of them had become very close, and were inseparable. However, today was different, and they could all tell. They silently decided not to push him about it, but kept a very close eye on him.

Not like they needed to, Ms.Paint was watching him like a hawk.

Since the beginning of the year, Sollux had only had one tonic clonic seizure. It had been very mild, and brief, but was still something. And it was the only one he'd had all school year.

But somehow, everyone could tell that today was going to be a bad seizure day.

The first three and a half hours passed by, full of stares and jerks and drops and everything in between.

Karkat and Sollux were headed to lunch together, because when the class was ready to go the seizure bag still wasn't ready to go, so Karkat volunteered to stay back with his best friend, help him with the bag, and walk with him to lunch. The weight of the bag was literally on Karkat's shoulders.

However, not ten feet from the classroom, Sollux stopped. His eyes glazed over, and his eyes became blank.

Karkat stopped as well, looking at his friend. "Sollux?"

He wasn't even able to finish his name before Sollux was falling.

Karkat immediately jumps forward, catching Sollux. He slowly lowers the two of then to the ground.

Karkat slips the bag off of his body quickly, setting it beside Sollux.

He doesn't bother getting the cushion, because his head was already placed in Karkat's lap. He does, however, quickly get the breaking mask and tank.

He places it over his friends mouth and nose, and sets the tank off to the side.

He pulls out the timer, and the emergency meds, and after some thought, the emergency mobile phone.

Of course, it was for situations like this. Should anything happen, there were plenty of numbers on there. Including, but not limited to:

Simon Captor (father)  
Ms.Paint (teacher)  
And, of course, 911

Karkat presses Ms.Paint's number, and waits. All of a sudden, however, he hears a ringtone going off in the classroom. He curses.

Ms.Paint left her phone in the room.

He would call for help, but there was no one in the kindergarten hall at the moment, because everyone was at lunch. He considered calling Sollux's dad, but after some thought, decides against it. No need to worry him right now, when there wasn't anything immediately medically wrong with Sollux.

He starts the timer, and all he can do is wait it out.

Its a bit hard to keep him in place at least a little bit when he starts to actually convulse three minutes later, but Karkat was too worried about the time passing to be worried about that.

It wasn't until the timer alerted him at five minutes that he began to panic. He couldn't do this on his own, but what choice did he have? He couldn't leave Sollux just to get help.

He knows what to do, though. He hesitantly pulls the meds over to him, and picks up the correct one.

He gently rolls up Sillux's sleeve, and winces as he gets the needle ready. He positions the point to his skin. Tears form in his eyes as he injects the needle into his vein, spreading the medicine into his system.

A minute later, when nothing happened, and all was still the same, he picked up the phone. By that point he was actually crying, very scared for his friend, and feeling very alone.

He presses the 911 icon with shaking hands, and pits the phone to his ear.

As he talks to the operator, he tries to control his voice, and cover his tears, but it was very difficult.

About two minutes into talking to the operator, all of a sudden Sollux stops. He goes to rest, and he looks around before gazing at his best friend.

He tells the operator, hopeful, and she tells him to try and talk to him, and reassure him. But before Karkat could even get a word in, Sollux went into another seizure, except it wasn't a tonic clonic, it was an absence.

Karkat cries some more, and grabs his friends hand, squeezing it, not sure if he was trying to comfort Sollux or himself.

Five minutes later, he hears the sound of his class coming down the hallway, and when he looks up, his tear streaked face meeting the shocked expression of his teacher, he let's out a sob.

Ms.Paint rushes forward, and gently asks what happened. He tells her in a wavering voice, and she is overtaken by concern. She runs into the classroom, grabs her phone, and dials Simon's number as she walks back out to join them again.

As she talks to Simon, and Karkat talks to the operator, the other children in the class are ushered into the classroom next door, and a couple of other teachers come to help.

Sollux's absence seizure never stops like the tonic clonic did.

The paramedics get there, as well as Simon is on the phone in a group call with people named Latula and Kankri, talking rapidly, holding his sons other hand, since Karkat refused to let go of his other one.

The gurney is runned down the hallway, and runned back down after being loaded with the five year old boy, followed by Simon Captor.

All that is left in the hallway two minutes later is a sobbing boy being comforted by his teacher, and later his big brother Kankri, who'd only been called to come pick Karkat up from his rough day.

And of course, some ways away across campus, a girl named Latula was trying to calm down a panicking Mituna as he hyperventilatdd over his little brother Sollux, and oh god no one would tell him anything 

Of course, the next day would be filled with hugs and tears of joy as Mituna, Karkat, Aradia, Nepeta, and everyone else visit Sollux in the hospital. And, best of all, no seizures. Or, at least, no status epilepticus seizures.

No damage was done, except for everyone being a bit rattled, and everything was fine.

And until this happened again, Sollux felt they had nothing to worry about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, but thanks for rwading , and thank you all for your kudos! Also, yes, just to fit the story, Latula and Kankri are a bit older than Mituna, and go to high school online, because they have to take care of Karkat and Terezi, because their parents died a long time ago, blah blah blah, but that's why they were able to leave to go pick up Karkat and Mituna


	5. New Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a new girl in the class, and no one bothered to tell her about Sollux.
> 
> Boy, was that a mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KuyoTheHunter helped me out a lot with this chapter, so shout out to her/him/they/ze or whatever the hell pronouns they prefer!

Her name was Kanaya Maryam.

She came in the beginning of first grade, and everyone just kind of brushed over her coming into the class.

By this point, everyone knew about Sollux, so no one really bothered to tell her about him. Besides, she wasn't that close to him. So, they saw no point in letting her know.

That was quite a mistake.

The entire first grade went on a field trip in October. It wasn't to anywhere big, just the zoo, then the museum, and then the skating rink, as well as obviously lunch.

They were each put into groups, as well as a chaperone.

It wasn't until they got to the museum that there was a problem.

Sollux announced to the chaperone that he needed to go to the bathroom, and at the mention of it, so did Kanaya. So, the chaperone takes off the backpack and hands it to Sollux, who takes it.

Kanaya had never questioned the backpack. She just looked at it as none of her business.

So, they walked silently down the remote hall to the bathrooms.

They each go into their respected bathrooms. When Kanaya comes out, however, she sees Sollux waiting for her.

She was shocked. She hasn't expected him to wait on her.

Sollux obviously noticed her confusion, and montions for her to start walking as he explains.

"I figured that you wouldn't want to walk alone. Besides, I'm not aloud to be alone..."

Kanaya turns to thank him, when she thinks about that sentence a bit more.

"Wait, why aren't you allowed to be alone?"

She silently scolds herself for being nosey, but he doesn't seem uncomfortable with the question, just a bit sad?

"Well..."

At first she thought he was just reluctant in answering, so she turns to say that it was okay if he didn't answer. When she turns, however, he's not there.

He had apparently stopped walking a few feet back. She turns, and walks towards him.

He had this very dazed look on his face, and his body was sort of rigid.

"Sollux?"

After a few seconds, however, he was falling.

He fell to the ground, and tensed up.

She stared with wide eyes, before blinking and jumping into action.

Of course, she barely had any idea of what was going on. She had only heard of seizures, and in the back of her mind she reminded herself to read about them later.

She has an idea, and gently raises her classmates body upwards, and with some difficulty, removes the backpack from his frame.

She gently lowers him back down, and opens the bag.

She was trying not to freak out. Her breath was quick, and she was lightly sweating, despite the fact that it was freezing cold in the hallway.

She looks inside the bag.

She quickly pulls out the cushion, and decides to put it under his head.

She looks at the rest. There was a pack of syringes, as well as some pills. She immediately ignored those. There was a phone, and some other things she couldn't identify. There was also an oxygen tank and a mask, but she had no idea how to work that.

It wasn't for another two minutes that someone came looking for them.

Sollux had just started to actually convulse, and his skin was turning a little blue.

It was Karkat and Aradia, and as soon as they came around the corner, they saw their friend and started sprinting.

Kanaya backs away as they work on him.

"No! He hasn't been breathing, he's turning blue!" Cried Karkat.

Aradia turns to Kanaya. "Did you start the timer? If not, approximately how long has this been going on?"

Kanaya hadn't even seen a timer in the bag. "Um, no I didn't. Its been about three minutes."

Both of them softly curse to themselves before turning back to Sollux.

Karkat grabbed the oxygen tank and cranked it up as high as it could go, before applying the mask to Sollux's face. "He shouldn't have to go to the hospital. It hasn't been that long, and he's only a little deoxygenated."

The seizure comes to a stop seconds later, and they quickly roll him onto his side. They briefly take the mask off to wipe away the blood and saliva that dribbled out of his mouth, before reapplying it.

They then sit back, Karkat holding Sollux's hand while Aradia stroked his hair. Sollux was dazed, and was looking around blearily.

They turn to Kanaya. "Can you get the phone out and call Mr.Scratch? Tell him its Sollux, he'll understand."

She does as she's told, and hangs up a minute later. "He's on his way."

"Okay, good."

The next hour is filled with thank you's and worry and just bleh. But mostly, it was Kanaya fussing over Sollux.

"Are okay? You were blue, and you were making these noises, and why didn't you tell me? I was so worried, and I don't even know you! That's scary!" She went on and on and on, but Sollux could tell it was out of worry. He just smiled at her and thanked her and said she did great.

And that's how Kanaya was thrown into the mix of friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	6. A Day In The Life: Mituna Captor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day in the life of Mituna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like i should do more Mituna sooo.... here you go

Mituna's eyes blearily blink open, squinting with sleep.

He sees his little brother, Sollux, above him, his hand on Mituna's shoulder.

"Its time to get up." He states.

Mituna gives a groan of protest, but reaches out a hand. Sollux lightly rolls his eyes, but smiles, and grabs his hand. He pulls him into a sitting position, and walks to their closet.

They shared a room. Always have, probably always will. Of course, there were many other bedrooms that they could choose from in the large house, but they liked sharing a room.

He opens the closet door, and browses through the options

He himself had already gotten completely ready, but he helps Mituna in the morning while his dad gets ready for work. Sollux gets up extra early with his dad, so he can get ready and have time to get Mituna up and completely situated.

He pulls out a black and yellow striped t-shirt, before walking over to the dresser. He then pulls out a pair of black khaki shorts, and some black socks.

He walks over to Mituna, and sets the clothes on the bed, before helping Mituna out of his pajamas. He helps him get dressed, before walking over by the door, and grabbing the high top yellow converse that were thrown there.

He slides them on his brothers feet, and ties up the laces.

Mituna sits back down on the bed as Sollux grabs the brush, and starts to try and tame Mituna's hair. Its pretty much no use.

Mituna suddenly goes limp, and falls back slightly. Sollux quickly catches him before he falls off of the bed, because he didnt have his helmet on yet.

The absence seizure ends quickly enough, and he sits back up, and Sollux procedes to brush his hair.

After his failed attempt at brushing his hair, they stand up.

Mituna grabs his brothers hand as they walk out of the room, down the stairs into the kitchen.

Mituna sits at the small dinner table, and waits as Sollux makes him a bowl of cereal.

As he eats, Sollux sits with him, and talks to him, just like every morning.

Mituna is proud of himself when he puts his own bowl into the sink, and even more so when he puts away the milk and the cereal box. He turns to grin wide at Sollux, and he smiles softly back.

They walk hand in hand back up the stairs, and into the bathroom.

Sollux stands against the wall, fiddling with his hoodie zipper as Mituna goes to the bathroom. It was a necessity for someone to constantly br with him, even when its like this. It was just a necessary precaution.

He finishes soon though, and washes his hands.

Then, Sollux stands by him when he brushes his teeth, because this has been a problem in the past. Hes not supposed to have anything in his mouth during a seizure, so he has to be watched.

Of course, however, he just so happens to have another absence.

Sollux quickly wraps his arm around his brother, while the other one goes to grab the toothbrush out of his mouth. He waits for it to pass, before making sure he was okay and giving it back. 

After thats done, they head back to the bedroom, and Sollux grabs the helmet. They kept it on a shelf on the wall, cause if they didnt they would somehow always lose it.

They had just recently added a face gaurd around the mouth. It was installed after Mituna busted his lips badly on the edge of a table after he fell during a tonic clonic.

Mituna didnt like it, but understood that it was necessary.

Seemed like everything in his life was necessary now a days.

Sollux walks over to Mituna, and places it softly on his head, before doing the straps, and adjusting the plastic face gaurd.

Mituna frowned, but let him do it anyway. It was for his safety, he supposed.

Sollux smiled at him, before going over to the hooks on the wall. He grabbed both of their backpacks, and handed Mituna his.

Mituna had always liked his backpack a lot. It was black with bees buzzing all over it.

Mituna clasps his hand around Sollux's, and they make their way, yet again, back down the stairs, and into the living room.

As expected, their father is already waiting at the door. He smiled at his two sons, and they all walk out to the car.

Their father buckles Mituna into his seat, and then makes his way to tye drivers seat. Sollux gets into the car, and sits beside Mituna.

They sit in comfortable silence as they drive to the elementary school. This was the normal morning routine. It was actually going shockingly normal.

They park the car, and all get out. When they walk into the school, Sollux turns left, waving at his brother and father, and Mituna and Simon turn right.

They soon make it to the sepcial ed wing. Mituna happily stumbles into his beloved classroom, and plops into his seat. His dad leans down to kiss his hand in a goodbye, before leaving.

School was okay. Mituna liked it, but things moved extremely slow. He could tell that already the lesson would start late because a bunch of teachers had to take a couple kids to some safe rooms because they were having tantrums. This was normal, but Mituna gave a sigh.

An hour later, the rest of the teachers came back, and the lesson started. First was reading, which Mituna like to think he was pretty good at. Of course, because of his speech delay he had trouble reading out loud, but it was fine. Next was math. This was the subject that caused problems for everyone. Kids would get frustrated and yell and scream, sometimes even cry. As expected, someone a couple tables away kicked their legs and screamed and threw their papers around. So that lesson was a fail. Next was everyones favorite, music. They played the piano and the violin and all sorts of instruments in the music room. They all loved it. Next was lunch. Mituna never really ate much, but a good thing was that he was able to momentarily take off his helmet, so he was happy. Next was PE. It wasnt his favorite subject, because he wasnt able to do much, but it was okay. Next was history. It was never ever fun, and everyone hated it. Bleh. Next was break. They watched a movie, and played the piano for a bit. Next was science. They all loved science. Today, they did an expreiment about pollution. Last was art. This was one of everyones favorite classes. They got to paint a picture for anyone they wanted, of anything.

Mituna decided to paint a picture for Sollux. He painted a big beehive, with an even bigger bee. After some thought, he threw in some blue and red things. Sollux loved bees just as much as Mituna did, but blue and red were his absolute favorite colors.

Soon, Sollux was at the door, waiting to sign him out and walk with him to the front.

Mituna bo7nd up to him, grinning as he presented the painting. Sollux grinned back, and took the painting, giving Mituna a ligut hug. "Thanks Tuna. How was school today?" He asked as they walked out of the classroom.

"O-oh iiiiiit wassssss great! W-we watched The L-Lorax!" 

Sollux smiled at him as they walked through the doors. Outisde was already flooded with kids trying to get home.

Sollux grabbed Mituna's hand as they crossed the street, walking towards their dads car. He always parked across the street, because if not Mituna would always panic, having to go through all the crowds.

They greet their father, and Sollux buckles Mituna in. The car starts up again, and they head home.

After getting home, their father immediately starts dinner, while Sollux and Mituna stay in the living room.

"You wanna play Mario Kart?" Sollux asked.

Mituna just grinned, and grabbed a controller.

They played for an hour, before they were called for dinner. They had simple spaghetti, which Mituna made of a mess of.

After dinner, Sollux and Mituna go up to the bathroom as Simon cleans up the kitchen.

Mituna undresses as Sollux starts the bath, and Mituna gets in.

Mituna suddenly stops playing with the water, and Sollux looks up from getting the shampoo ready.

Mituna's body tenses, and starts to fall back. Sollux curses, before shooting forward and catching him.

He has to just deal with getting wet as he pulls Mituna out of the tub, pulling him close. He grabs the towel set off to the side, and dries him to the best of his abilities, before covering him up.

"Dad, come quick! And bring the seizure bag!"

Simon is there in an instant, along with the seizure bag. "Was it anoter random one?"

"Yeah, it came out of nowhere."

When Mituna starts to convulse, water goes everywhere, and they wince, but stay where they are.

The seizure ends quick enough, and Simon makes sure hes okay before leaving again.

Sollux sits there on the ground with him for a moment, before gently putting him back in the tub.

He could tell Mituna was tired now, so he made the bath quick.

Afterwards, he wraps Mituna in a towel, and walks hom back to the bedroom.

He brings out a pair of old, gray sweatpants and a blue t-shirt, and put them on Mituna.

Mituna lays down, exhausted, barely even paying attention as Sollux brushes his fingers through his hair, humming a lullaby. His eyes flutter shut, and his mind goes to peace as he falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	7. Simon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon hated when this happened...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo this is loooong overdue and again, I'm sorry, but here it is! Finally!

Simon wasn't feeling right.

Sadly, he knew this feeling very well.

It was a Sunday, and the three of them were just hanging out. Mituna was having fewer seizures than normal, and Sollux hadn't had one all day. Which is why Simon felt so bad. He didn't want to ruin their good day because he was having one of his own rare seizure episodes.

Sadly, however, that wasn't in his power.

He had done everything. He took his medications, he took a nap, he was resting himself. He made himself relax, but nothing was working. He was staring off at least once a minute, and the his two sons noticed, but decided to say nothing. They didn't want to upset their father. They knew that he didn't like to address the topic.

But when he fell from the couch onto the floor in the middle of the movie they'd been watching, it obviously could no longer be ignored.

Mituna cried out in distress as Sollux quickly grabbed the bag and went to his father's side, turning him over. Despite Sollux's disability, he had grown quite well, and was almost ten years old now, in fourth grade. He knew what to do in this situation, of course. He tried to calm Mituna as he pushed the sharp edges of the table away, cushioning his father's head.

Mituna, despite his age of fifteen, was mentally around the age of six or seven. The severe epilepsy had caused great amounts of growing set backs for him, so his mental development was behind pretty far. This is why he started to panic at the sight of his father, he didn't like seeing him this way. Despite Sollux's efforts of calming him, Mituna's attention was completely on his father. He wanted to know when he would be okay again, so he never took his eyes off of him. He knew he had to stay back while Sollux helped him, and the more mature part of his mind wished he could help too.

It was over soon enough. Simon never really had tonic clonic seizures. He had never went into the clonic phase before, so really, the seizures he had were tonic seizures and absence seizures. His body soon relaxed after a minute or so, and Sollux let out a breath of relief. He looked up at his brother, motioning for him to come over, telling him it was okay.

The supposedly good day was ruined. The bright mood was dampened.

This was their life, and they had to cope with it. There are good days, and there are bad days. They would just have to wait for a good day to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience and support, I really appreciate it


	8. A New Kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux experiences his first partial seizure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, two chapters in one day, I know! But I'm trying to make up for being gone for so long hehh ;-; Also this chapter is set where the they're in fifth grade

It was ignored at first.

The lip smacking, the stumbling, how he picked at his clothes. No one payed any mind to it.

Until it got more apparent.

That didn't happen until after the small symptoms went on for well over a month. And when it did happen, it had been a generally normal day. Sollux had only had a few small, scattered absence seizures, all of which only lasted for about ten seconds.

He had been sitting at his desk, talking to his best friend, Karkat. They were doing a project where they worked in partners, and Nepeta and Aradia had already run of somewhere.

Sollux had been talking about aimless things as he worked, before he stopped. His pencil drops out of his hand and rolls onto the floor. At the noise and the fact that he was no longer talking, Karkat looks up. At first glance, it would look like just a run of the mill absence seizure. However, as Karkat was about to reach out to him, he pauses for a moment, taking notice of all the little things. His eyes weren't rolled up, and he was still moving. His eyes were flicking around, though they were glazed over and distant. He was clenching and unclenching his fists, and his lips were smacking lightly. 

Karkat tilted his head in confusion and curiosity. "Sollux?" 

No response.

He gets up from his seat, going over to him and placing his hand on his shoulder. He shakes him gently, saying his names again. There was no change.

Karkat calls the teacher over, and she was there in an instant. The both of them were confused, and the teacher left to go and get his father on the phone. 

It lasts for three minutes. When he came out of it, he blinked hard, letting out a sharp breath and looking over at Karkat, frowning. He felt different from how he normally felt after an abesnce seizure. Even though it was over, he still felt spacey. He felt tired and far away and there was a very faint, almost metallic taste in the back of his mouth.

Karkat sighed, looking at him. "Your dad is going to get here soon."

This made him more confused. "Why?" His speech was almost slurred.

"You had a complex partial seizure."

Sollux had heard of that kind of seizure before, Mituna had them all the time. Mituna, however, had suffered from almost every kind of seizure there is since he was diagnosed. Sollux was confused because the only seizures he'd ever had were tonic clonic seizures and absence seizures. Honestly though, he was too tired to really address it at the moment.

When his dad gets there, Karkat has to walk him to the front, guiding him slightly since his legs felt weak. 

He fell asleep on the way home. He went to the doctor the next week, and was put on more medications.

He was really getting tired of having epilepsy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	9. The One Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was a bad idea from the start, really

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im having like, writers block for some reason. You'd think after all my free time and all the time i didn't work on this story you'd think i'd be overflowing with ideas but im nooott ;-; 
> 
> oh yeah, and this one is uh, sad...hehh
> 
> It turned out more sad than i intended :/ sorry

Mituna was doing great.

Turns out though, not as great as everyone seemed to think.

Hardly any seizures, just the normal run of the mill ones. He never really fell anymore, was walking a little steadier. He was in physical therapy and speech, which was working amazing for him.

So, after a long, long discussion and contemplation period, his neurologist and Simon both agreed that since it's a disadvantage, Mituna hates it, and he seems to not need it anymore, that the helmet could go.

Big mistake.

The third day without his helmet, and he was bleeding. He had a drop seizure while he was walking to his desk in the classroom, and hit his head on the corner of the desk. Now, had he been wearing his helmet, he would have been fine. A little thrown off, but fine. 

But, he didn't have his helmet on. It was at home.

Blood was running down from his gashed forehead and busted lips, and he was soon crying on the floor. He was spitting out blood as his teachers rushed over and helped him up. Simon was called, but 911 was also soon called while he was on his way, only because of how Mituna's words became even more slurred than usual and he was having way more seizures than he should've been, and when Sollux was called in it took him five minutes to realize who he was.

He coded on the way to the hospital, in the ambulance. His heart stopped. 

He was clinically dead.

His already sensitive brain had started bleeding and swelling from the blow he took to his head. The seizures he had been having were, for the first time, non-epileptic.

That wasn't a good thing.

He had to have emergency brain surgery. The recovery was long, difficult, and most of the time painful.

The helmet was obviously reinstated. It was just too big of a risk. He was in the hospital for a month and a half.

Afterwards, he was worse than he had ever been. Stumbling, stuttering, lisping, and having way more seizures than he had ever had on a regular basis. It was awful. His care was heightened, as well as his supervision. He went from a 6 year old level to a 2 year old level.

But, then again, maybe him mentally being that young was better. At least it meant he didn't realize what had happened, or what was going on. Which also meant that, unlike Sollux and Simon, he didn't cry and lie awake at night, afraid to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	10. Good Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was odd, but good. Definitely good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek anymore :P XP
> 
> And yes, I'm trying my hardest to keep up with updates don't judge me ;-; I should really make a schedule to motivate myself to not be lazy and write tbh

The day had started off simple. Sollux woke up at hell-no o'clock, got ready, and got Mituna up and ready. He ate breakfast, and was perfectly on time. He was in the car with Mituna and his dad when he realized.

His morning had been TOO simple.

Here's why: He hadn't had any seizures since he woke up.

Now, granted, he definitely wasn't complaining. It was just that the last time this had happened, the seizures had just been building up apparently because right before he went to bed the 'perfect' day was shattered by a tonic clonic that made him have to use his emergency medication.

So, needless to say, he was on edge the whole day.

His friends noticed, his teachers noticed, but no one said anything. Mostly because, over the years, the topic of his epilepsy and such became a little bit of a sensitive topic. It was understandable, so everyone left it alone, and would do so unless it absolutely needed to be addressed.

But it never needed to be. No seizures, at all. Everyone noticed this, too. They were confused and curious, to say the least, but again, left the topic alone. They didn't view it as their business.

After school, as Karkat and Sollux walked home (conveniently, two years ago, in the sixth grade, Karkat moved into a house a few houses down from Sollux's. Fate), Karkat did keep a close eye on him. With the way he was acting, and the lack of seizures, he was ready to grab Sollux if he went into a partial seizure and tried to walk out into a road, or a tonic clonic and fall and get a concussion. He was kind of gripping the seizure bag, preparing himself.

Except he didn't need to. They walked all the way home, and since it was Friday and Friday was video games, junk food and sometimes sleep over day, Karkat walked into Sollux's house with him.

They hung out, played video games, ate so much junk food that they almost burst, and still, no seizures. Neither knew what to think about it, really.

Sollux let out a breath as they laid down to sleep, wondering if he was really going to make it throughout the whole day. And as he drifted into sleep, he realized that yes, he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	11. High Shcool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux's first day of high school, and he is already fucking up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so like, i just... idk, i'm having a lot of writer's block i am sorry ;-;

The large, unfamiliar campus loomed over Sollux menacingly. He bit his lip, feeling his nerves start to creep up on him again. Thankfully, Karkat noticed, and squeezed his hand (oh yes, they finally got together on February 2, their 7 month anniversary was in a week), and gave him a reassuring smile when Sollux looked over at him. He gripped the other's hand as he walked inside, taking long, shaky breaths.

He could do this.. right?

Of course he could.

Sollux and Karkat sadly didn't have every class together, so in some classes Sollux was alone. He just kind of sulked in his seat, because pretty much all the teachers were going over were introductions and expectations for the year. It wasn't like they were saying anything especially important, in Sollux's opinion. 

He doodled, on his hands, on his notebooks, even on his jeans. He had picked up the habit a few months before, and he didn't expect to drop it anytime soon.

As always, though, there was that small nagging in the back of his mind. This was a new school. 95% of the people were brand new to him. They didn't know him, they didn't know his... condition, and he liked how he could walk down the hallway without any pity-filled stares following him.

He just hoped with all of his heart, soul, and mind that he wouldn't fuck it up too soon.

As you would expect, however, is that every single teacher knew, but it seemed like they just didn't care. This was a good and a bad thing. A good thing, because he didn't exactly like to have his epilepsy pointed out, or preferably not known of. A bad thing, because despite this, he didn't want to have careless people taking care of him if Karkat wasn't there. He didn't want to have to go to the hospital because the people around him didn't give a shit.

On his way to lunch he dropped by Mituna's classroom, checking up on him. He had a bear hug on him in an instant, which he immediately returned. He let out a calmed breath, because he hadn't seen or even been able to talk to Karkat for three hours now because of their schedules, and he was just relieved to have someone familiar. He hugged him and talked to him for a bit before he reluctantly left, but only due to his hunger. It took a bit to get Mituna off of him, but he eventually made it out of the classroom and to the cafeteria.

Karkat was waiting outside the doors for him, and Sollux quickly grabbed his hand, squeezing it and pecking his cheek before walking inside, keeping the other close. He started to relax, and they got food and sat down at a table in the corner. After a few minutes some of their other friend from middle school came over and joined them, and it was all great and dandy.

Except, after about ten minutes, Sollux dropped his fork halfway to his tray. It plopped onto his lap as he fell limp against Karkat, a sharp inhale being heard form the seizing boy.

It was a drop seizure, quick and fine, but Sollux still frowned, slowly picking his fork back up and continuing to eat as Karkat sighed softly.

Unlike Mituna, as Sollux got older his epilepsy actually got a little better every year. It definitely was nowhere near being completely gone, but it was something. From when he was first diagnosed to when he was 11, he had about a hundred, sometimes more, seizures a day. Now, at 15, he had only about 30, sometimes even less if he was lucky. It was a good, drastic change, and he was happy about it.

But it just made every seizure he did have all that more disappointing. 

He recuperated quickly, however, soon laughing and conversing again. It put everyone at ease again. It was an everyday cycle, that would probably never change.

He had a few more drops, as well as three or four absences, before school was let out.

He let out a big breath of relief as he walked out of the main doors, pulling his boyfriend close and walking down the street.

They had survived their very first day of high school.

At Karkat's door, Sollux kissed him goodbye before walking the extra thirty feet to his own house. He walked in, kicking his shoes off and letting his bag fall to the ground. Mituna got out from school a little earlier, due to being in special education, so he was already sitting on the couch, staring intently at a finished puzzle on the coffee table. He turned as Sollux came in, and grinned and giggled, going on about how he had "-sssssawww y-you and-and-and yourrr little boy-bo-boyfriend outttt therrreee" and Sollux just chuckled, sitting next to his brother.

The night went on normal after that. Sollux had a 17 second tonic seizure at the dinner table though, and while that kind of dampered Sollux's mood, as well as his energy, everything was fine.

They all went to bed soundly, and the next day was not at all the same.

Ironic, how the reason for their contentedness was the same reason for their sadness and stress: the unpredictability of their everyday life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :P


	12. Missed Detrimentals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why are you people so nice i'm trash like ;-; but at the same time <3 thanks you guys so much!
> 
> also, i am so sorry, i did not intend for it to get this fucking sad, idk what happened

He didn't mean to. He had honestly forgotten. The morning had been hectic, with Mituna nearly going into status while getting ready, and so he had really forgotten. He didn't even notice until he was halfway to school, and by then he seemed fine, so he figured he would stay fine.

Big mistake.

He didn't tell Karkat, because he knew he would freak out, and he didn't want that. So, he kept his mouth shut to everyone.

Again, mistake.

It was the beginning of December, and still no one at school had really seemed to notice his seizures all that much, or at least, they didn't care. And Sollux fucking loved it. Though, towards lunch when he started to feel spacey in the way he knew all too well, he became scared that that would change very quickly, and he absolutely did not want that.

So when they were sitting at the lunch table and he knew what was about to happen, he quickly stood up, pulling Karkat with him, "Come on." Before tugging him out of the cafeteria and towards the nurses office.

Karkat was quite confused, but followed him anyways, though he mourned the loss of his half eaten lunch. He figures it was important.

The nurse was there, and Sollux mumbled what was happening to her before laying down, motioning an even more confused Karkat over.

He sighed, looking over at him.

".... I forgot to take all of my meds this morning."

Karkat's eyes widened. This wasn't the first time he had forgotten, but that was the thing. Every time he forgot, without fail, he ended up in the hospital. Needless to say, Karkat was not happy at all. Not just out of worry and love, no, but also out of anger.

"Are you fucking kidding me? And you're just now telling me this?" He was mad and worried at the same time, and since it showed on his face the angry tone of his words didn't really affect Sollux all that much. He just reached over and grabbed his hand, feeling it coming closer and closer.

"I'm sorry, okay? I know, I'm stupid, but Mituna was in really bad shape this morning and it slipped my mind completely. I can feel it coming on and I don't want you to worry, but I also want you to stay with me. Please?" Sollux's voice was growing a little slurred and shaky, and Karkat sighed and shook his head a little to himself, pulling the seizure bag closer.

"Of course I'm going to stay, ok? I'll always stay..." He frowned, kissing his hand before squeezing it, huffing softly. "... I love you."

"Love you too..." His speech was definitely slowing down, and Karkat just sat beside the bed, getting ready.

Not a minute later of silence, and a sharp gasp was heard. Karkat's head shot up, and he narrowly avoided being hit in the face by a tonic hand as Sollux tensed. He sighed, glancing at the clock before looking at the nurse, who had turned to attention. "12:27." She nodded, and he turned back to the other.

He placed a hand on his boyfriend's chest, checking for movement before pulling the oxygen tank out. He gently placed the mask over his mouth and nose, before sitting back.

However, much to his surprise, he was relaxing again ten seconds later. He grabbed his hand again, reaching over to pull the mask off a little, wiping the drool from his face as he spoke. "Sollux, can you look at me? Soll-" He was cut off as Sollux tensed up again, and he frowned deeply, placing the mask back on. 

He turned back to the nurse. "He's having clusters, so I'm going to count how far apart they are and I need you to please keep track." She nodded as she pulled a pen and paper out, getting ready as well.

He relaxed, and Karkat started muttering. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11-" He tensed up again, and as Karkat stroked his hair reassuringly he saw the nurse jot down the number in the corner of his eye.

They never stopped, and when it was 12:32 he looked at the paper the nurse had been writing on. 11, 8, 13, 14, 5, 19, 16, 10, 8, 11, 15... The list went on, and they never got farther apart than 19 seconds.

"Fuck..." He gave the paper back, before reaching into the bag. His hand came back out with a needle and a small bottle. He pulled out a rubber band, making the tourniquet before extracting the medicine into the needle. He sighed, this was the part he hated the most. 

He quickly found a vein as soon as the other relaxed again, wincing as he pressed the needle in. He bit his lip as he heard Sollux let out a whimper, and leaned over to kiss his cheek as he pressed the medicine into the vein.

He pulled the needle out, disposing of it and hoping it would help.

Of course, it didn't.

Not 5 seconds later and he was seizing again. Karkat wanted to cry as he heard the awful whining sound of his vocal cords tensing up, and just ran his fingers through his hair. He hated that sound, he absolutely hated it. Sollux only made it occasionally during seizures, but not all the time. When he did, though, Karkat felt a lump in his throat.

He gave it another two minutes before he decided to call. He asked the nurse to call the ambulance while he called Simon, and 10 minutes later there were paramedics rolling him out of the room. 

By law, Karkat wasn't allowed to go into the ambulance with him as a minor. That didn't mean he never tried, he tried every time. He growled at the paramedics, but then he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned, and sighed when he saw Simon.

For a moment, as they made eye contact, Karkat let his walls crumble. He looked exhausted, and worried, and scared. He just wanted to stay with his boyfriend, who had an elevated chance of dying every day. Simon sighed, before pulling him into the ambulance with him. Karkat let out a sigh of relief, and sat next to him as he watched the medics work.

He let Simon hold his hand, though reluctantly. He did keep his hand on his shoulder, though, squeezing gently every time he came out of it.

He almost forgot to call Kankri, but he did as they walked into the emergency room. He sat down as he ended the call, letting out a breath and running his hand through his hair.

It was a while. No medications were really working, and everyone was getting more and more worried.

Karkat stood up, walking over to him and kissing his forehead when he was between a seizure and another. "I know it's hard, I know it sucks, I'm sorry.... I love you." He felt a few tears slip but quickly wiped them away as the doctors asked him to step back.

They had to intubate, the mask wasn't working anymore and his oxygen was dropping, which made the seizures worse. He quickly stepped back, sniffling and sitting back down.

Three hours. That's how long it was before he heard it.

He had only heard it one other time: when he was 7, with his grandma. However, then he had been young and hadn't really understood why Kankri and everyone else was crying.

Now he did.

The continuous tone rang in his ears as Sollux's body went limp. Karkat's head shot up, and his eyes widened as he stood up, trying to make his way to him, but being pushed away.

He was screaming and crying, and he felt two pairs of hands pulling him away and when he collapsed in absolute sadness and terror, he saw that it was Kankri and Simon, and he was shocked to see that Simon wasn't crying very much. All he saw was his tight, hardened jaw and his sunken eyes.

He felt himself being picked up by Kankri. As he was carried out, he turned.

"Clear!" Sollux's body jerked up, and Karkat whimpered before his own world went black.

"I love you.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for readin (i'm sorry)


	13. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat isn't ok, and for once it shows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok yeah i'm trash ik i left on a huge af cliffhanger :'[ but here is the next chapter so, yeah :l

*1 month later*

Karkat shot up in the bed, panting and sweating. He looked around frantically, feeling around the bed in the dim lighting. The clock told him it was almost 3 in the morning.

He started really crying when he didn't find what (or rather, who) he was looking for. He gripped tightly onto his hair and whined quietly, sobbing softly and rocking gently back and forth on the strewn sheets.

It was these nights where Sollux really needed better timing. He was just in the bathroom, and though this happened often with Karkat, it had gotten worse ever since he had died and (thankfully) been resurrected, because the fact that he was still alive didn't mean that Karkat wasn't there to see when he wasn't.

When Karkat was being carried away from the awful sight, he had passed out in Kankri's arms. The doctor had said that it was because of sudden extreme stress, and the fact that he hadn't been getting enough oxygen due to his hyperventilation.

Despite this, when Sollux woke up Karkat was curled up next to him on the hospital bed, his own IV stuck in his hand (the doctor didn't want Karkat to pass out again, so they just gave him fluids and anti-anxiety medication). He woke up immediately when Sollux shifted though, and he was on him in a second, hugging him and crying softly into his shoulder.

Sollux was discharged about three weeks later, and ever since Karkat had refsed to be away from Sollux. Sollux had to get him really distracted so he could shower and piss in peace. It was bad.

And now, instead of him having maybe 1 or 2 nightmares a week, he woke up screaming and/or crying 4 nights out of 7.

Karkat refused to get help, or talk about with anyone other than Sollux (and even that was on a good night).

Sollux was halfway through washing his hands when he heard him wake up and start panicking, and he cursed before quickly finishing and rushing to the bathroom.

He threw the door open, going over to him and immediately hugging him tightly after he crawled onto the bed again. Karkat tried to pull away before he realized who it was. He only cried harder, clinging to his boyfriend and whimpering.

Sollux let him, holding him close and petting his hair, shushing him softly.

When he seemed relatively calm, Sollux slowly laid them back down. He still hald him tightly though, kind of nuzzling into his neck and humming to him quietly.

Soon he heard Karkat's voice, surprising him enough to jump slightly.

"Stay. Please, I'm begging you, don't leave me again."

Sollux knew he wasn't just talking about when he was having nightmares.

He sighs softly, kissing his cheek and nodding, whispering that he promised he wouldn't.

Neither of them went back to sleep, getting up for school after 3 hours of them laying there.

Sollux didn't mind. He just wanted him to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for readin :]


	14. Goddamnit Sollux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been a joke ever since they had gotten together, but now it's actually happening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aye, so like, I'm still in writers block though it may not seem like it, bc sols death was a two chapter thing that I had already planned
> 
> I need ideas! So I'm like, accepting requests and ideas and shit that any of y'all may have! Just comment!
> 
> Also, uh.. suggested sex, i guess? idk what to call it, but this is the warning so :/

His dad was out of town, and Mituna was at Latula's for the night. The only other trusted person to look after Sollux was Karkat.

Of course, Sollux was frustrated that at sixteen he still needed a babysitter, but that was mostly tuned out by his boyfriend in his lap, their mouths attached almost hard enough to bruise.

This was not planned, by the way. They had literally just been on the couch cuddling and watching Disney movies (The Little Mermaid was still playing in the background). It started with a peck. Then a kiss. Then it got deeper and deeper until Karkat crawled into his lap and tugged his hair and Sollux was gone.

However, the thing was, with Sollux's epilepsy, his seizures could be controlled by strong emotions. It wasn't like they had never made out like this, but when Karkat tugged Sollux's shirt up like he wanted to take it off, nervousness took over him.

This triggered the first seizure.

It wasn't anything big. It was just an absence seizure, but when he came out of it Karkat looked guilty. Of course, Sollux looked at him and saw his boyfriend with messed up hair and swollen, kissed lips, and thought he was the hottest thing ever.

Then again, its Sollux.

Karkst shifted, sighing. "I'm sorry.." 

Sollux shakes his head, leaning forward and kissing at his neck. "It's going to happen anyways, it's fine.." Karkat turned to goo the second his lips were on his neck, and he just pressed back against him.

Karkat was hesitant to let him carry him to his room. He loved him and all, but he did not want him to have a seizure on the stairs and have them both tumbling down. He made it to the room without incident though.

He had three seizures by the time their shirts were off. He had four by the time their pants were off, and when Karkat was straddling him naked Sollux was afraid he'd go into status.

But he didn't, thankfully.

And the next day when his dad came back, Karkat stumbled out the door with his collar pulled up to hide the marks and his blush because literally five minutes before they had round two the morning after.

Not that he didn't like it, because he really did, but he just wasn't sure if Simon would.

But Simon knew, of course he did.

So when Karkat left, he turned to Sollux and gave him the 'Your a man now' look before patting his shoulder and walking up the stairs. It's not like he had to talk to him about not getting anyone pregnant.

Sollux just grinned and covered the marks before Mituna got back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading!


	15. A DAY IN THE LIFE OF KARKAT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How exactly does he go about his day with a blabbering family, rude sophomore year teachers and an epileptic boyfriend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you sunnyshine10 for the inspiration of this chapter ^^
> 
> I am so sorry for the late update! The holidays kicked my ass :/

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BE-

Karkat Vantas' hand slams down onto the snooze button, a groan coming from his lips. He tried to get up, but ultimately just ended up on the floor.

You know what was great about getting up at 5 every morning? Absolutely nothing.

He somehow untangled himself from the blankets enough to stand, rubbing his eyes and stumbling out into the hall.

He could already hear his brother, Kankri downstairs, making breakfast and shit. Which, to him, was ridiculous, since it was hardly past 5 A.M., but whatever.

Their dad was almost always out of town on business, so even though Kankri was a college student, he was mostly here at the house, watching Karkat.

It made Karkat beyond annoyed, but he couldn't do much about it.

He showered and brushed his teeth, getting dressed and ultimately giving up on his hair. He went downstairs, shoving his shoes on and grabbing his backpack. Kankri insisted he eat something (as always) so he just grabbed a granola bar to satisfy him before running out the door. 

He walked the three houses down the street before entering his boyfriend's house. Nowadays he just walks in, because he knew it would take forever for someone to just say "Come in!" since everyone in this house was busy.

It was around six by now. He set his bag down before heading upstairs. He walked into the brothers' shared room, seeing Sollux trying to get Mituna's shoes on.

Greetings were sleepily exchanged, as always, and Karkat just hummed back as he got out Sollux and Mituna's many morning medications. This was the morning routine.

He grabbed the two glasses of water that he knew Simon had already set out, and walked over to the brothers.

Sollux had just finished getting Mituna's helmet on, and was now trying to get his own shoes on. Kaarkat handed Mituna his three morning pills as well as one of the glasses of water, which he washed down quickly. He gave Sollux his four pills and water once he had his shoes on.

He stood up again, sighing. "You ready to go?" Two agreements were answered as they all made their way downstairs.

They left the house at 6:30, as always.

Now, the time that they got to school varied. One day Mituna had a tonic seizure that made him unable to get back up for twenty minutes. Another time Sollux had a complex partial and tried to wander out into the street, so they had to wait until it was over before heading to school again. Other days they made it there with no incident.

Today was not one of those days.

Despite some belief, Sollux was not suicidal. Despite this, he happens to walk towards extreme danger (most of the time the street). This, however, was against his will.

Karkat yelped, grabbing his wrist and yanking him back as a car zoomed past, honking at them.

He sighed, keeping a good grip on Sollux as he lost his balance, his lips lightly smacking as his fingers messed with the hem of his shirt. 

It wasn't for another three minutes until it stopped, and even then Sollux was so dazed that he had to lean against Karkat as he walked.

When they finally made it, Mituna's teacher was, as always, waiting. They handed him off before heading to home room, despite the fact that they still had twenty minutes to kill. Sollux needed a little rest.

They went through their first three classes with little incident, only a few absences and maybe a twitch every once and a while.

When fourth period rolled around though, they had to part ways. It was their first class apart on a Tuesday. Sollux had some advanced computer class that Karkat couldn't pass if he tried, and Karkat had AP Literature, which Sollux hated.

Now, Sollux had a specific seizure plan.

If he had a tonic or a tonic clonic seizure, Karkat would immediately be contacted and would go to Sollux, wherever he is, and tend to it. He administered his medicine and called Simon and 911, if needed. Karkat was in charge if Sollux was having an emergency.

He was also called if Sollux had a smaller seizure lasting longer than five minutes. If he is, he has to evaluate him and everything, take vitals and call Simon. His medicine is given, and typically it stops it, or slows it down to where it ends soon after. If the medicine does nothing, they wait until they hit the ten minute mark, and then Karkat calls 911.

It was pretty simple.

So, when in the middle of his fourth period, Karkat got called to the computer lab, it wasn't anything new.

Even though he knew he had time, Karkat always ran to Sollux when he was called. Maybe out of fear that if he didn't he'd die again, or maybe just to be efficient. Karkat certainly didn't know.

When he got there, he was panting lightly. He burst through the door, going over to the small croud surrounding his boyfriend in the middle of the room. 

"Step aside!"

Karkat kneels next to his boyfriend, sighing softly. He heard someone to his left inform him of what had happened.

Sollux had gone into an absence seizure. They thought it was just a typical one, but it never stopped. They got him onto the floor, and called Karkat. It had been six minutes.

Karkat gave a small nod, opening the seizure bag that he had brought. He brought out the needle and tourniquet, sighing and preparing his arm. He winced a little as he inserted the needle, pressing the diazepam into his system. It was almost funny how after all this time, he still wasn't used to giving him medicine like this.

He pulled out the needle, disposing of it properly before calling Simon. He hung up after he informed him of what was happening, before checking his pupils and his pulse and such. He was stable and reactive, and the seizure slowed down until after eight minutes, it stopped.

Karkat just held his hand, helping the others get his limp, sleeping body into the wheelchair, before wheeling him out to the front, where his father was waiting with the car. Karkat helped him into the car, buckling him.

Before he went back to his class, he pecked his boyfriend's cheek, huffing and squeezing his hand before shutting the car door.

He went about the rest of his classes without a hitch, walking to Sollux's alone.

He checked on him, made sure he was okay before curling up beside him on the couch for a while.

He stayed for dinner before returning to his own house, bidding his goodbye's. He begrudgingly said goodnight to his brother, before heading up to his room. He was out like a light, having just enough time to kick his shoes off before he was snoring softly.

And then, the next day, he started all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!


	16. Nightmare Visions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux has dreams, or visions (you could call them that, Sollux did), sometimes when he has a seizure.
> 
> They're mostly good... Not always though

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All aboard the sadstuck train, CHOO CHOOOO! Sorry in advance! <3
> 
> This was inspired by Candymouse22, they're comment on the last chapter gave me (most likely unintentional on their part) a lot of inspiration for this chapter! Thank you!

His eyes rolled back, his body tensing up, the familiar whine coming from his throat as his vocal cords tightened.

Despite the horror, Sollux was far away from it, yet right in the middle of it all at the same time.

Colors started forming in front of him, and he let out a breath as he realized he was having a vision.

Then, he saw what it was.

He felt like a rock was in his throat.

He saw himself, much younger. Nine, from the memory that it looks like.

And next to him, was a girl his age. Long, curly hair, bright eyes and a bright smile. Overall, someone who you would expect to be friendly, and generous, and selfless, and kind, and giving...

And she was. She had been all those things.

On this particular day, or more like that entire week, Karkat and Sollux had some.. problems. Couples Spat, Aradia playfully called it (sadly, they wouldn't be getting together for a few more years; still entertaining though). It was nothing more than an argument, and they would make up by the end of the week (little do they know, they'll be made up by the end of the day because of what's about to happen). Hell, Sollux was already starting to break.

Aradia had always been a really good friend to Sollux, ever since they met. He even had a crush on her for a while.

This day, Sollux remembers extremely vividly, and will until the day he dies.

They were sitting up in a tall tree, only in the middle of it and already about twenty feet from the ground.There were plenty of branches, great for climbing.

They were presently sitting on the same branch, pointing out patterns in the bright green leaves.

They were laughing and talking, just enjoying each other. They were only kids, both just nine. They were happy, and stress-free, and had no reason to not love life other than if they weren't allowed to get candy at the store, or if Sollux had to go to the hospital.

It took all but one moment, a couple of milliseconds, for it to all come crashing down for both of them.

Aradia reached out to point at a bunch of leaves.

She was leaning too far.

Her hand that was stabilizing her on the branch slipped.

She was screaming, falling down now.

Then she wasn't.

Sollux's body was pressed against the branch, his hand wrapped around her wrist for dear life. His eyes were wide, his breath quick. He was scared, terrified.

Aradia was even worse, starting to cry. "Sollux!"

And he tried to reassure her, he did, but his hand was slippng. There was nowhere for her to go. He didn't have enough strength to pull her up by himself.

She was going to fall.

Sollux knew it, she knew it. There was no way to stop it.

It was a long fall, with so many things to hit on the way down. 

After a few moments, Aradia just closed her eyes, her tears silently streaming down her face. Sollux was almost just holding her fingers, crying softly as he looked down at his friend.

She opened her eyes again, looking up at Sollux. She gave him a small, sad smile. That made him cry more, his grip on her tightening but to no avail. He started apologizing profusely, sobbing now. But she just shook her head, giving him reassuring words.

A couple moments later, seconds before she was about to fall, she looked straight at him, and spoke. These words would haunt him for the rest of his life.

"Sollux, it's okay. I trusted you, and I still do. I always will. I care about you, and love you, so much. Don't ever think this is your fault... I'll see you again, hopefully not soon."

And it wasn't even her words, those last words that she would ever speak. It was her expression. She looked so calm, and so sure, and it made Sollux decide what he was going to do next.

He let go off the branch, using the newly free hand to reach down and grab her arm.

And then they were both falling.

Pain was all he felt. There was sun in his face. He felt fresh blood all over him, still rolling down his skin. He could feel the bruises forming. His head hurt so bad he closed his eyes again. He could hear people, a lot of people, and a lot of noise coming towards them.

He couldn't move. He didn't want to, either.

He was put in an ambulance, and then he passed out.

Later, when he woke up, she was long gone. Dead on scene. She had taken most of the hits. She had internal bleeding, brain damage, spinal injuries, fractures, laceration, everything.

Sollux broke his right arm, and had a nasty concussion. He had some brain bleeding, so small that it went away on it's own.

He never did forgive himself, and he never would.

His eyes shot open, his breath coming fast as he tried to sit up. He was crying, sobbing, and all he could think about was a replay of them falling, of every impact of each and every branch, of the moment he hit the ground, when she reached out to those leaves in the first place.

He was screaming now. He felt familiar arms wrap around, and someone telling to calm down, that it was okay. But that voice was far away, and they were wrong. Nothing was okay.

But then he opened his eyes, saw his boyfriend sitting there in front of him, and all he could do was whimper. 

"It's okay, Sollux."

Those three words were all it took to break him, sobbing uncontrollably, falling into his arms and clinging to him in the middle of his living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! ^^ <3


	17. Switch Places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was always Karkat saving Sollux in a medical situation, always Karkat sitting by Sollux's hospital bed.
> 
> Never the other way around.
> 
> But now it was, and Sollux didn't know what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, three updates in two days!? I'm on fire! ^^
> 
> Warning: slight sadstuck, happy ending (i promise)

It had started off small.

They were walking to school, and Karkat was just having some stomach pain. Sollux didn't really think anything of it, just thinking that if it got worse he would call Kankri and ask him to pick up Karkat.

Then he got a headache, on their way to homeroom. It was at that time that Sollux felt his forehead, frowning when he felt his feverish skin. Karkat insisted he would be fine though, and Sollux didn't want to fight about it, so he left it alone.

Then the stomach pain got worse, spreading to mainly his lower right abdomen, and he was getting extremely nauseous. Sollux gave him his hoodie because his chills and fever was getting so bad. Karkat still refused to go home, saying that finals were coming up and he had to stay.

They were on their way to the library, Karkat's steps literally dragging, his body hunched over. Sollux was about to take out his own phone and call Kankri himself. Karkat wasn't supposed to be in this much pain, and the fact that it had gotten this bad in only a couple hours worried him. 

But then Karkat was collapsing, screaming in pain and Sollux dropped his textbooks to catch him, laying him on the ground and calling for help.

Teachers and some students came over, and the nurse was called. Karkat was writhing on the ground, squeezing Sollux's hand so hard that Sollux had to grit his own teeth.

When the nurse came over to evaluate him, Sollux called Kankri. In the middle of their conversation, though, he heard the nurse speak.

"We need to call an ambulance."

Sollux's head snapped up, looking at her incredulously. 

"What? Why?"

"He's showing all the symptoms of severe appendicitis. From the looks of it, his appendix is close to bursting. Can you ask his guardian for consent?"

Sollux cursed to himself, before turning back to his phone.

"Kankri, they want to call an ambulance, but they need you to consent."

"Ambulance? Why do they need an ambulance, is it that bad?"

"It's getting bad Kankri, can they call the ambulance of not?"

"Uh, yeah, of course."

Sollux nodded at the nurse, and she went to call 911. Sollux hung up with Kankri a bit later, him already on his way.

By the time the ambulance and Kankri got there, Karkat was practically passed out from pain, screaming and crying out every few seconds.

They had him on the gurney, and after a few pleading looks and words on Sollux's part, Kankri granted access for him to come with them. Sollux called his dad on the way there, informing him of what was happening before they got to the hospital, the doors opening and bright lights bursting through. 

They ran him inside quickly, Sollux and Kankri close behind.

Sollux saw an ultrasound machine being pulled up (which confused him, because he was pretty sure that was for pregnant women. He didn't question it), and after a few moments of swiping the machine over his extremely tender abdomen with the gel, they declared that he did indeed have a very severe case of appendicitis.

They rushed him into an operating room without a glance, Sollux and Kankri being forced into the waiting room.

They waited for a good hour before the doctor came out, informing them that the surgery went well and that he was in a recovery room, and they could see him if they liked. Of course they accepted without hesitation, and the doctor led them to his room.

He was pale, and there were a bunch of machines surrounding him. They both took a seat on either side of him. The doctor said that he should be coming out of the anesthesia any moment.

When he actually did, Sollux wanted to cry in relief. He squeezed his hand, grinning and telling him that if he ever scared him like that again he would kick is ass. Then Karkat oh so graciously pointed out that Sollux scared him like that everyday, and he stuck around.

That only made Sollux squeeze his hand harder, kissing his cheek because there is no way that he did anything to deserve him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	18. Take It Out On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe they weren't the perfect couple everyone thought they were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long! It just got behind me with school, and my friend is going through something really hard right now and I'm trying to help her :( but I'm back! I refuse to fall behind. ._. Here's some angst (i'm sorry).
> 
> Also, I am officially making a schedule! This is getting too out of hand, honestly.
> 
> I will update on Sunday, Tuesday, and Friday, at 6 PM (Central Time). Hope this helps!

It wasn't gradual, there was no buildup. Later, they wouldn't even be able to say _how_  it started.

It just _did._

It was Saturday, and Karkat came over to Sollux's a little after noon. He was in a bad mood, and when Sollux asked about it, it just made it worse.

He wasn't there an hour before they were up in Sollux's room, yelling and screaming at each other. Insults and arguments flew out of their mouths at each other at surprising and concerning speeds. They were both standing, a good foot away from each other but it was still extremely tense.

Neither of them really knew what they were saying at this point, just that they were saying it and they were  _pissed_ at the other, for whatever reasons.

Mituna and Simon were downstairs in the living room, Mituna on the brink of tears and Simon holding him, frowning. He was worried, for both his son and Karkat, who he had grown a liking to over the years.

Karat was gathering his things now, storming out the door of the bedroom. Sollux followed him though, still yelling, and Karkat yelled back.

"Four years Sollux! Four fucking years, we have been together, and for twelve we've known each other! We're seventeen, just grow up!"

"Oh, I need to grow up? Are you fucking serious? News flash, you're acting more childish than me by a fucking longshot!"

They were at the door now. Karkat already had a few tears streaming down his face, his voice tight, and Sollux's eyes were starting to burn.

"Yeah, okay Sollux! Say what you want to say, I'm leaving!"

"Okay, go! Just- go!"

Karkat sneers through his tears before whipping around, yanking the door open and storming out, slamming it shut.

The house was silent after that.

Sollux was just standing there, staring at the door, tears rolling down his face. His fists were clenched, his face tight.

Simon clears his throat a little, before speaking.

"Sollux?"

No answer.

"Sollux? Sollux, please answer me."

He was answered, in a way. Sollux lets out a whine, his eyes rolling back as he fell to the ground, his body rigid and tonic.

Simon shoots up, and the tears Mituna was trying to hold back came through, his sobs echoing through the house as Simon grabbed a spare seizure bag from the hook on the wall (they, understandably, have to keep them everywhere in the house).

It didn't stop. Even with the medication, and the oxygen, he didn't stop seizing.

_"911, what's your emergency?"_

Karkat was fuming in his room when he heard it. The familiar sound of sirens, speeding down the street. He paused, wiping the tears from his face and peeks out the window. Despite his emotions, he repeats the same thing over and over in his mind.

_Please keep going, please keep going, please keep going, please keep going, please-_

The ambulance screeched to a halt in front of Sollux's house.

Karkat let out a curse, jumping up and running out of his room and down the stairs. The door slams behind him, cutting of Kankri's questioning as Karkat ran.

He burst through the door as they were putting him on the gurney. He was breathing hard, starting to panic. He faintly heard Simon try to talk to him, and Mituna sobbing, but he paid it no mind. He stared as they rolled him past and loaded him into the ambulance. He watched them close the doors, and drive away.

And as they turned the corner, he crumbled.

He sobbed and collapsed on himself, hearing Simon and feeling his hand on his shoulder. He was trying to get him to calm down, he could tell, but it wasn't working. After a while he felt his presence leave, which made him cry more. He calmed down when he heard him return, faintly wondering who the other set of footsteps were.

When he felt an  _unfamiliar_ hand rest on his arm, hearing them kneel in front of him, he hesitantly looked up.

It would be an understatement to say that Karkat was surprised to see Kankri in front of him. He was giving him a genuinely sympathetic expression for the first time in Karkat didn't  _know_ how long.

He let out a sob, welcoming his brother's arms as they slowly wrapped around him. He leaned against him, clutching fistfuls of his sweater. He stood with him as he got to his feet, pressing against his side as Kankri walks back to their house, keeping his arm around his shoulder.

He sat on the couch with him until he stopped, tiring himself out and falling asleep.

And all he could do was wrap a blanket around him and whisper that it would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	19. Sea Of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat doesn't actually want to go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this whole writing schedule thing is really working for me. Here's the update!

_Come with me, my love_

Karkat was curled up in a hospital chair at the foot of his hospital bed, his earbuds in. It was the day after, and the nurse said he had finally stopped seizing during the night. The scans didn't indicate brain damage, but Karkat was still nervous.

_To the sea, the sea of love_

Not because he was scared the scans were wrong or anything like that, but because of all the awful things he had said the day before.

_I wanna tell you, how much, I love you_

Granted, Sollux hadn't let up either, but it was still (at least, in Karkat's mind) Karkat's fault. He had been in a bad mood in the first place.

_Do you remember, when we met?_

He had woken up later that night on the couch, and he hadn't really known what to do. He just wanted to go back and change everything that had happened so all of it would be forgotten and he would still be over at his boyfriend's house eating dinner with him and his family.

_That's the day, I knew you were mine_

Not here by Sollux's hospital bed regretting his decisions that, 13 hours ago, he wasn't thinking about changing at all.

_I wanna tell you, how much, I love you_

He glanced up as he saw Sollux shift in his peripheral vision, sitting up a little.

_Come with me_

His eyes opened, slowly. He blearily looked at Karkat.

_My love_

"... Karkat?"

_To the sea_

He gets up slowly, walking over to his bedside and nodding a little, sitting next to him. "Yeah."

_The sea of love_

Sollux looks at him, guilt slowly taking over his face.

_I wanna tell you_

"I am so, so sorry."

_How much_

Karkat shakes his head quickly, reaching over and squeezing his hand. "No, it was my fault, you shouldn't be sorry, I'm sorry."

_I love you_

Sollux pulled him into a hug, sniffling as some tears slipped through.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Sollux."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! <3


	20. Hold Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were trying, they really were

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blah here is an update

The room was silent. Soft noises broke through the night and into the bedroom, but that was it.

For the first time in  _years_ , they were sleeping in the same bed, but they weren't making contact. Not even holding hands, or their shoulders touching. They were completely separate.

It remained like this for what felt like decades, but in reality was only a couple of hours.

Every time either of them would start to doze off, they would realize how abnormally cold they were, then they would remember why. A lump would form in their throat, and by the time they would force it down they were wide awake again.

This went on into the very early hours of the morning, until Karkat wasn't able to force the rock in his throat down fast enough and a small sob broke through.

This made Sollux look over at him, frowning. A look of guilt slowly came over his face as more sobs escape out of his boyfriend's mouth, tentatively reaching a hand out to touch his arm, which only made him cry more.

Through his tears, he started to go on about how Sollux didn't love him anymore, and it was all his fault and he was sorry and that the whole situation was killing him slowly until Sollux was crying too.

He pulled Karkat into his arms, holding him tight as he ran his fingers gently through his hair. He nuzzles his head slightly, humming and whispering reassurances counteracting all the things Karkat was saying.

He cried for a while, and even when he was done, his breathing was still in small hiccups and sighs. Sollux just wiped the tears off of his face, giving him a soft smile and kissing his cheek, making Karkat calm down.

No words were exchanged. Their actions were, for the first time since their fight, speaking for themselves. All the tenseness from when he was discharged a that morning, or hell maybe even from when Sollux woke up in the hospital after the fight, melted away slowly with the caresses and the kisses and the hugs and cuddles and just the other  _being there._

It didn't take them long to fall asleep like that, still clinging to each other like if they let go both of their hearts would stop beating and everything that they's worked for would be over.

When they woke up the next morning, the only thing that signified anything had happened was the hospital band in the trash as they walked to school hand in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	21. Trouble Of The Mind

"Sollux, no! It's too risky, he's already in bad condition. We aren't doing it!"

"Dad, this is a good chance for him! The doctor said the possible side effects aren't even that bad, the worst one is death. The chances of him dying during or because of this surgery are lower than the chances of him dying during his day to day life now! This specific surgery is only proposed to people with severe seizures, the fact that he is so far into that category that the doctor said he might die without the surgery is enough reason to do it!

"Sollux, they want to cut off several pieces of his brain."

"Only some pieces of the outside! He explained this Dad, they aren't cutting away the inside, which is definitely the more important parts. He needs this."

"Sollux, he will live without the damn surgery!"

"Not for long! I'm sorry Dad, but when was last time you had a seizure? Much less one bad enough to put you in the hospital? You don't understand. It is so hard living like that every day of your life! Not being able to even be alone because people think you're going to die without supervision. He's in a damn helmet for God's sake! So yes, he does need this, don't try to tell me he doesn't!"

"Don't you dare say I don't understand."

"You don't though! I do understand! He's much worse off than I am and I'm still miserable and I hate my disorder and how it affects my life. I can't drive, I can't be home alone, I can't eat by myself. I can't even go to concerts unless I want the strobe lights to send me into status. Mituna can't do any of that, and more! He's never rode an amusement ride, he's never been anywhere without a backpack, and he's only gone two days of his life without his helmet since he was eight! Look where that got us! He's worse off than he was when he was my age! He graduated last year, Dad. He's twenty-three, just let him have the damn surgery. Don't abuse the fact that since he's handicapped, you make decisions like this for him. Just sign the fucking papers." He shoves the form and towards him from across the kitchen table, before getting up and storming out.

When he enters his room, he sees Karkat and Mituna doing a puzzle on the floor. Mituna had taken a liking to Karkat after he started coming over more often, so when Sollux and Simon had started having their argument, Karkat was asked to take him upstairs.

Sollux lets out a breath, walking over and sitting next to Karkat, giving both of them a smile. He took Karkat's hand, squeezing it gently as the other two continued to have their conversation and finish their puzzle.

It wasn't a hard puzzle, but it was to Mituna. They had games and stuff just like this all throughout the house. The physical therapist said that it would help with his perception skills, and hopefully develop his brain a little more again.

It wasn't working as much as the surgery would.

They had an appointment with his neurologist today, since Mituna's medication was starting to not work. He had said that the fact that it was getting so bad, his seizures started in a part of his brain they couldn't remove without making him even worse, and medication wasn't working as much anymore, he qualified for MST, or Multiple Subpial Transection. It was where they cut off grey matter (the outer parts of his brain) to lessen seizure impulses.

And the thing was, Sollux would be with his Dad on this if it weren't for a specific thing the doctor has said.

"With success of the surgery, he would be better off than he's ever been since he was born."

Mituna has never been above a six year old level mentally. He said if it worked, he would be at an eighth grade level, a 13 year old, at the very least. With complete, absolute success, best case scenario, over the span of a few months, he would be able to slowly upgrade to the level he's supposed to be at: a high school graduate, a twenty-three year old.

Just the thought made Sollux want to cry.

So he was going to fight, and fight, and fight, until Mituna got the damn surgery.


	22. Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Mituna would be okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to Alexia Contreras
> 
> Rest In Peace, we miss you
> 
> And thank you, all of you. You guys are so nice and understanding, like, you guys were part of the reason why I'm moving on so quickly. So thank you, and here is a nice and happy update as a gift :)

"Sooollu-ux?"

"Hm?"

"Ar-re yooou gonn-nna be iii-in th-there?"

Mituna was being pushed down the hospital hallway, getting closer and closer to the OR doors. Sollux just smiles softly at his brother, squeezing his hand gently. "No, I can't be in there Tuna, I'm sorry."

"B-But-"

"You know who will be though?" Sollux didn't want him to go in there scared.

Mituna looked a little confused, and curious. "Wh-hooo?"

"Aradia, she'll be in there the whole, entire time. You won't be able to see her, but she'll be there.

When Soilux saw him light up at Aradia's name, he knew he wouldn't be scared. Mituna had always loved Aradia, ever since he met her all those years ago, and had sobbed and had a mini-meltdown when they told him that she '-had to go away for a long time-'.

"R-Reallyyy?"

"Yes, really."

They were at the doors now. This was as far as Sollux could go.

He leaned down, hugging his brother as tight and long as he could. He wanted him to have this surgery, yes, but he knew that there were some huge risks. He wanted to have this moment with his brother.

He pulls back, smiling at him again. "Now, just like I said, they're gonna put you to sleep for a while, but when you wake up, everything is gonna be all better. Don't be scared, and don't fight them, or it won't work... I love you, Tuna"

Mituna nodded quickly, smiling brightly at him. "O-Okkkk! I-III love youuu t-too!"

Sollux just squeezes his hand, returning a more reassuring smile before straightening up, motioning to the nurses and doctors to go ahead.

After the door closed, Sollux let out a huge breath he didn't know he had been holding, his smile dropping. He dragged his feet to the OR waiting room, meeting his dad, Karkat, Latula, Kurloz and Kankri. He took his seat again, between Karkat and his dad. He saw everyone's questioning stares, and he just gave a nod. Mituna wasn't scared. 

Everyone relaxed as much as they could, going back to their hushed conversations. Karkat took Sollux's hand, giving him his own reassuring smile. Sollux just sighed, and leaned against his boyfriend. He looked over at his dad, who looked the most tense out of everyone. It had taken weeks to convince him to get the surgery for Mituna. A lot of arguing, fights, silent treatments and second opinions later, and Simon finally called the doctor and agreed.

That didn't mean he was comfortable with the surgery though.

Sollux couldn't care less about that. Instead, he cared about the fact that Mituna might finally have a chance to be at least partially functional again, to live a little without someone constantly breathing down his neck.

Several hours later, almost everyone was asleep. Everyone had insisted on not going home, caring about Mituna just as much as Sollux and Simon did. Sollux was still wide awake. He couldn't even think of sleeping right now. When he saw Mituna's surgeon walk into the waiting room, he shot up, roughly waking up Karkat, and Karkat's noises of protest soon woke everyone else up. They were all at their feet or at the edge of their seats though when they saw who was now in the waiting room with them.

The surgeon took a breath. "The surgery went great. It went smoothly, no bleeding, no swelling, no complications. He is being taken to the ICU right now, and we will be hooking him up to an EEG to monitor his brain activity. He probably won't be in the ICU for very long considering how well he's doing, it's just a precaution with brain surgery. He should be waking up soon, and then we will really know how it went. If you'd like to see him, you can follow me."

Everyone was almost crying in relief, nodding eagerly and following him.

When they got there, a kind ICU nurse told them they could break the rules just this once, and she let all of them in at the same time to see him.

They sat for a few hours before the anesthesia fully wore off.

Sollux was the first to notice his stirring, shooting to attention and immediately going to his side, taking his hand and squeezing it. "Mituna"

Everyone was soon crowding around his bed, and the nurse that had been in there was heard paging his doctor.

Mituna's eyes fluttered open, and he looked at each of them individually before speaking through a small, slightly raspy laugh.

"Guess who's back, guys?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3


	23. Function

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mituna was basically just introduced to life at the age of twenty-three. He's stressing about understanding the works of it all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..... hi

He stares at the ceiling, a thousand emotions going through him at once.

What was he gonna do?

He had gotten discharged three days before, but even before during his recovery in the hospital, he could feel his nerves slowly take over. He didn't really know how the world worked, or what to do, or anything. Of course, he had a basic idea, but it was like the past 23 years were smudged all over. The memories and thoughts were there, but they were blurry and garbled, hard to read and comprehend.

He's been doing good so far, he thought. They had him on seizure medication, so now he was having even less seizures than Sollux. That ridiculous helmet was put in the back of his closet. He relearned his basic functions, and actions, and he'd slowly been synced into the move of his new day to day life.

Sollux seemed more thrown off than anything, he could tell. He could only assume that Sollux had primarily taken care of him, saying that he seems to be getting used to a new schedule as well. He'll mention off-handedly that he got up later than usual now, because he had the time, so his sleep schedule was thrown off. He hears Sollux mutter to himself sometimes little reminders to counteract obviously grown habits like "Don't hold his hand, he doesn't need it" or "He can bathe on his own now, don't follow him". He wasn't sure how to feel about it. 

He was also shocked the first time he saw Sollux go into a full blown seizure. Again, his memories were clouded over, so it was like seeing it for the first time all over again. Another thing was, he was mildly shocked, thinking to himself if he really looked like that when he seized as well.

There were so many changes going on so quickly, and everyone was being affected. It was a big, stressful mess.

But at the same time, Mituna would never go back on any decision he had made.

He sighs heavily, rolling over in his bed to look at Sollux through the dim lighting. Mituna was so many years older, yet Sollux had practically been a second guardian to him his whole life, just because he was 'better off' seizure wise, and Dad couldn't take it all on by himself.

Mituna frowns, rolling back over. The thought of himself putting so much responsibility and stress on his own little brother for so long, the majority of his childhood, didn't sit well with him. He made a small mental note to somehow try and repay him for all that he's done, because along with him noticing Sollux being thrown off, he also noticed he was so much more relaxed. He went out with his boyfriend and his friends, he joked around, he just hung out way more than he used to. That was one thing Mituna could remember clearly.

He closes his eyes, letting out a breath and letting his body relax. He wrapped himself in the warmth of the blankets, pressing his face into the cool pillow, the contrast of the two making everything just seem perfect. He slowly fell asleep, dreaming of the new opportunities he, as well as his whole family and all his loved ones, now had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :P


	24. Double Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fact that it's happened before doesn't make it any less scary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I am soooooo sorry, I had a really bad mental breakdown and it took weeks fir me to recover, but now I am feeling good enough to update! Thank you guys so much for being patient, hope you enjoy this ling overdue chapter!

It was kind of foolish to think Mituna would be completely cured afterwards. Yeah, he was a lot better, but he was still having seizures. 

It wasn't nearly as bad as before though, so they'd take it. 

The first big seizure scare was about two months post operation, and it started off pretty harmless. 

Sollux, Mituna, Simon, and Latula had all been sitting in the living room. Latula had been over a lot lately. Karkat would've been there too, but apparently he was busy with something. 

Latula and Mituna had been on the loveseat, Sollux and Simon opting for the couch. 

They'd all been laughing and talking, the TV playing softly in the background. 

The atmosphere was interrupted by a sudden jerk and a whine from Sollux, and in a flash everyone was up and going to his aide. Simon got up and laid his tense body down, while Mituna got the bag. Latula just knelt in front of him, running her fingers through his hair as the other two worked on him. 

Mituna being healthy enough to actually help out during seizures had been a life saver lately, and he liked helping anyways. 

However, as he was adjusting Sollux's breathing mask, he stopped. His eyes gave a few quick blinks, going unfocused before his entire body dropped. 

He went sideways, landing on Latula and almost knocking her over.

They quickly realize what was happening, and Latula lays Mituna down on the ground. He was only having an extended absence seizure, his limbs jerking every once and a while. 

This had happened a few rimes before, them both seizing at once. Mostly when they were both really young, when their epilepsy had been even worse than it was now. 

It hadn't happened in years, yet it was happening now. 

Latula was tending to Mituna, and Simon was tending to Sollux. 

Sollux was done after a minute or so, his body going limp and his eyes closing. His breathing slowly steadied out and his mask was taken off. 

Mituna finished his seizure soon after, his eyes rolling back down and his body going still. 

Simon carried then one by one to their beds, letting them sleep off the exhaustion that came from seizing for so long. 

It was scary, but they were both okay. And that's what matters, that's how its always been and how it'll always be. 

They come first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	25. Full And Grown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux couldn't be more conflicted over turning 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeyyy, so uhhh, I'm really sorry for the fact that I keep going missing randomly, but my attendance should be getting better soon because I am starting to actually go to therapy and get medications soooo yeah :)

There was no big party, because Sollux had specifically asked for just a small get together with people of his choice. It was a simple request, and it turned out to (unsurprisingly) be a simple night.

It ended up just being Sollux, Mituna, Simon, Karkat, and Latula. The usual group. There was cake, and they watched a few movies after singing the Happy Birthday song and eating said cake. Mituna left with Latula for a sleepover, and Karkat stayed over for the night.

It was originally planned for Karkat to sleep in Mituna's unoccupied bed, for the pure fact that they were both twin sized beds and the two of them wouldn't be extremely comfortable if they slept on the same bed. Half-way through the night, however, Karkat crawled out of bed and into Sollux's, cuddling into his side as much as possible. Sollux, who had only been half asleep, grunted and scooted over as much as he could to give his boyfriend more room.

They stay that way for a while, and when Sollux idly starts to play with Karkat's hair, Karkat returns the affection with soft neck kisses. The kisses were obviously purely affectionate, not meant to lead anywhere more intimate. Both of them were perfectly fine with that, just taking the time to enjoy the others presence. However, Sollux's mind was being overrun with thoughts and fears beyond his control and reasoning.

He was more than a little scared. He was a legalized adult now, and he would be graduating in four weeks. He could feel the impending responsibilities and choices-to-be-made creeping up on him, and it was giving him anxiety. It wasn't that they didn't have things planned out. Him and Karkat already had a house under their names a few states over, in the same town both of them will be attending college. They would be moving in officially on the 6th of June, a little less than a month from then. They both have full rides to the same college, Karkat in literature and Sollux in computer science. They had more money left over from said scholarships than what they knew to do with, and they each had a job set up there for when they weren't in school to make even more money. Sollux had a medical alert necklace at the ready for his seizures because they knew that Karkat wouldn't always be there now.

They were set up, and prepared.

Of course, that didn't make it any less terrifying. Sollux was starting to feel overwhelmed.

With the feeling of Karkat so close, and the affection he was displaying, and just the knowledge that he would be there with Sollux the entire time, was the only thing keeping him from insanity. He took the comfort Karkat was offering, because he knew Karkat knew his silent fears. He has known him since Pre-School, and he knows him damn well. He noticed Sollux tensing up when asked about the house the two of them were moving into, and the way he winced when questioned about the college they'd both be attending. Of course he did. Sollux didn't have to tell him for Karkat to know what was making him react in that way, what was making him so anxious.

So he did what he could, comforting him and giving his own presence in an attempt of reassurance. 

It obviously was working. After a while, the kisses and the movements of Sollux's fingers slowed, until they were nonexistent. Karkat leaned up for a final, sleepy kiss in a silent goodnight before pressing his face into Sollux's shoulder. They both closed their eyes, anxieties eased, and drifted off into peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I appreciate it!


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